In the complexity of human existence, emotions play a key role. They make us aware and alive, bring colors into our lives, enable us to enjoy a merry-go-round of experiences, but also make our existence difficult if we don’t know what and how to do with them. Being able to feel emotions, process them and release them leads to deep self-awareness and emotional well-being, and provides us with wisdom for all future similar situations.
“A memory without an emotional charge is called wisdom.”Dr. Joe Dispenza
Emotions are the fabric of our lives. Just imagine how empty and boring our lives would be without the ability to feel emotions. They would be walking robots, perhaps extremely intelligent, but also completely deprived of the experience of life.
Let me give you an example: Think of a situation where someone next to you became very emotional without being touched at all (e.g. a sunset, a walk in nature, a song on the radio, etc.). Whether it is extreme happiness or sadness, without emotion we miss the experience. Same event, two different people and two completely different experiences. Why? Precisely because of the emotion that each of them feels, because emotion is an experience. When you look at it this way, you understand that emotions are not just fleeting feelings, but complex structures that can be the key to understanding our desires, needs, patterns of behavior, and relationships.
In order to process emotions, it is necessary to feel them. You must have heard that emotions can get “stuck” and “stagnant” in our body, and as much as this may still be scientifically unprovable, many of us really feel this burden, because emotions are the language of the body.
Headache, congestion in the throat, stiff neck, pain in the shoulders, heaviness in the chest, discomfort in the abdomen, cramping in the pelvis are all places of deep feeling. We don’t feel intellectually, but physically, and that’s why we have to physically digest them, that is, release them.
It probably sounds wonderful to you to be able to feel, process and release your emotions, but what if you’re not even sure what you’re feeling?
First of all, know that you are not alone. Most adults today are still children of unsatisfied needs in terms of emotional intelligence. We can see this through the reactions and behaviors of both others and ourselves, especially if we get to know and become aware of our emotional (re)actions, which are always a sign of our triggers and triggers, whether it is a pleasant or unpleasant emotion or reaction.
The child of unmet needs that often lurks in all of us is a reflection of our upbringing in which we were not allowed to safely feel and express emotions. Even today, many people are disgusted by the so-called conscious parenting where the parent allows the child to express emotions. People who condemn the outpouring of emotions are mostly those for whom the outpouring of emotions was forbidden and therefore they are uncomfortable today, or those who believe that allowing emotions also allows behavior, but it is exactly the opposite.
A parent who allows emotion probably does not allow behavior, which is why the child has such a strong emotional reaction, and on the other hand, precisely in this outpouring of emotions and conscious presence, the parent has the opportunity to develop the emotional intelligence of his child and teach him how to calm down and let go of that great discomfort . First of all, by your own example, calmness and support.
This is exactly what most of us lacked because our parents:
• they didn’t know how to express or regulate their own emotions, and then neither did our emotions as children,
• they forbade us to cry, because boys don’t cry or good girls don’t cry,
• they sent us to the corner, punishment or room every time they got angry or upset,
• were told to ‘toughen up’ or ‘stop’ whenever they became emotional or attention-seeking,
• they gave us the silent treatment by distancing themselves from us and our needs,
• they were unpredictable,
• they had their own issues (like addiction or mental health issues) which meant there wasn’t enough room for us and our feelings.
In the end, even if our parents somehow managed with our emotions, it is possible that later in life we experienced difficult relationships and situations that led us to emotionally shut down and distance ourselves, pushing this discomfort deeper and deeper into the tissues of our body. .
Suppressing emotions, although socially acceptable and often encouraged, can lead to a pressure cooker effect, where unexpressed feelings simmer beneath the surface, waiting to be released. You must have experienced in your life people who suffer a lot, and then suddenly surprise you and explode, or you read an article in the newspaper about how someone calm, quiet and kind did something that would never have been expected of him. That’s kind of how suppressing emotions works, and it’s not a recipe for a life of health and well-being.
When we learn to allow ourselves to feel emotions, be they pleasant or challenging, we will also learn to release them, thus preventing their accumulation and ultimately contributing to the mental and emotional well-being, not only of ourselves, but also of all those who meet us.
In the next part, I will share with you concrete steps that you can take to become aware of how you feel and to then successfully process these feelings and release them from your body if you wish.
If you are ready for personal work with my guidance and support
I work with the body, emotions and sensations that are present in the moment using ancient techniques and new scientific knowledge, but what I really teach you is to truly know yourself and be present in your body. I believe that all wisdom is already within us and that our body is always whispering to us.
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