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˝Moraš umrijeti svaki trenutak za sebe.˝
(“You have to die each moment for yourself.”)
Many years ago, I came across this quote and immediately wrote it on my arm as a reminder. That sentence hit me so hard that I didn’t want to forget it. After some time, I read that same sentence again in a book called “Freedom from the known” by Krishnamurti. I wrote it again as a reminder and repeated it like a mantra.
You may wonder what the connection is between dying and changing careers, however, in this text I will try to bring this connection closer because “dying to myself” describes my transformational path from law to helping people through yoga and therapy.
Review during studies
Studying law found its way to me for several reasons. Primarily because I loved to study and was good at almost everything. I imagined myself as someone who would be able to help those in need and thus make this world a better place.
However, during the studies, things started to change very quickly. My inner voice was getting louder and louder saying that law was not the career for me. My spirit did not resonate with this activity and the inner conflict became deeper. It took me a long time to allow that thought its space within me given the many societal expectations, rules and pressures. The more I allowed that thought to find a place in me, the easier it became for me to let go of the image of myself as a lawyer and start exploring what I really wanted. The decision was clear – I finished what I started, and then set out on the path of self-knowledge.
The death of my old self
Fast forward a few years, I graduated with a law degree. While everyone around me was talking about graduation day and legal internships, the first thing I did was buy a ticket to India. I wanted to get certified as a yoga teacher and thus celebrate this personal victory.
Somewhere between the Goan jungles, the mesmerizing Himachal Pradesh and the bustling Punjab, my mind, heart and soul expanded irrevocably. What really happened in India was the beginning of the death of my old self – the old ways, ideas and social expectations that I thought were mine.
After returning from India, I felt that I was not the same, but my research was not over yet. I went on a trip to Europe. During that time, I learned about Ayurveda, creating a website, starting an online business whose primary goal would be to help others get back to themselves. The role of a yoga teacher slowly gained a clearer place in my life.
Humble beginnings and inner approval
The beginning of my independent work was filled with inner doubts and a lack of self-confidence. However, over time I learned to listen to the inner voice that always guided me on the right path, no matter what fear was there. Little by little, I gave myself inner permission to do what was calling me.
Finally, I began to free myself from the blockages and started teaching yoga in my city. While I was teaching, I felt truly “at home”. Having my own small group of yogis with whom I could bring a little more peace into everyday life through yoga made me the happiest person in the world. It was so obvious that I was on the right track. And then the inner voice again called me to go further…
Life in an ashram – a return to oneself
I went to an ashram in Nepal. I stayed there for two months, during which I came closer to myself than ever. Early morning practices, mantras, meditations and yoga with a view of the Himalayas daily strengthened my spirit and cleared my path, while the mixture of tantra, Hinduism and Buddhism suited me in an unusual way and brought breadth, freedom and the possibility of being with myself. During four months in beautiful Nepal, I developed the idea of online yoga classes and sewing cotton menstrual pads for women.
Yoga, therapy and cotton pads
After returning to Croatia, I started regularly holding yoga classes and started a story about LaPia insoles. But, at the same time, my path towards therapeutic work appeared more and more and showed me that I was ready to step in that direction.
During one meditation, I received a clear instruction that regression is one of the tools that I must include in my work. Therefore, in February 2022, I became a certified regression therapist under the guidance of Natalija Pavlaković, and you can read more about regression itself here.
In addition, I went through a one-year education through which I integrated shamanic practices and energy work with the help of a drum, shuska and other tools. I am currently going through a 3-year education in Somatic Experiencing, which is based on releasing traumatic events through the body, regulating the nervous system and expanding a person’s internal capacities.
Work in progress
I am currently developing my small business, which I created from the heart after a deep transformation. Teaching yoga, 1:1 therapy and building a small brand that supports a natural lifestyle are the pillars of my work. I am still expanding my activity in the world and this process fulfills me with every step. I am curious and excited to see where this journey will take me.
Looking back on my life, the most important thing I had to do to get to this point was to let go of limiting beliefs and step out of my comfort zone. Sometimes it seems that our goal is very far from us, but the impossible becomes possible if we put enough effort and dedication into what we want to achieve.
For me, dying every moment to myself meant burning away what no longer served and creating space for thoughts and actions that keep my vibration high. It was a scary step into the unknown, but worth every moment.
If you happen to recognize yourself in this text, I would like you to keep in mind that the path of transformation is worth it. If you hear an inner voice, follow it, listen to your heart, follow what excites you, embrace the fear along the way and trust the process even when the path is not yet clear. Whether we are aware of it or not, the Universe always has our back and rewards us when we are brave.